Recently, while searching for some understanding, I had a lengthy
conversation with a friend.  It really hit home for me.  

After being alone for eight plus years, I had a vision in my head of
what a relationship would be like.  What I wanted.  I have had a list
of deal breakers for a very long time.  In addition to that I had a
certain “model” in my head about what this person would be like
(not look like)… if I ever found him.  Honestly, I wasn’t expecting to
ever find him.  I think having this “model” set me up for a continued
single/relationship failure life because it’s easier and it's
Big Kahuna

I look at Sir L. now, after knowing him for eight years, and I see a man that I want to know everything about.  The
man I wanna take to concerts rather than a girlfriend.  I see a best friend, an incredibly kind heart, and multiple
layers of a beautiful spirit that I so wanna unpeel.   Before he was just the guy with an odd sense-of-humor and
long hair.

I guess what I’m saying is that we all have this fantasy.  I am not talking about the fantasies such as stealing
Kurt Russell from Goldie.  I’m talking about this fantasy that we’ve created in our heads that is so obscure it will
surely have no other outcome other than failure.  If we open our hearts and minds we may be shocked to find
that what we envision isn’t really what is the best for us. I don’t know if that’s the right phrase to use there.  I
guess what I’m trying to say is that if you find the right person you enhance each other.  I still don’t believe one
and one make one.  I believe a great one and one make an incredibly stellar two.

I know that the unknown is scary, and I know that relationships take work.  You don’t just start a relationship and
let it go expecting it to continue flourishing.  Nothing in life works that way.  I also know that everything has an
end. There really isn’t such a thing as forever.  There is only now.  My new analogy is that when life is good you
are riding a big wave.  At some point that wave will crash becoming part of the ocean again. Sometimes, when
you’re really lucky you catch a Big Kahuna.  If you aren’t so scared that you sabotage the ride, you’ll find that it’s
one of the most thrilling things that will ever happen.  The really wild thing is that once you've managed to enjoy
it rather than sabotage it you will find more and more of these Big Kahuna’s lifting your life experiences to a new
height.


Cindy Callinsky
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