Death, what a horrible word. It is a word full of excruciating pain
and utter devastation. It drags you as close to Hell as you can
get, while still breathing.

It has taken me a long time to realize what a horrible word
death is. Death is a word used by the people that are left on
earth that have to keep trudging through all the shit and pain of
life after their loved ones have moved on to freedom.

It took me years to understand that my mother is not dead. She
is still here with me and I feel a connection to her now that is
stronger than what I ever felt previous to her transformation to a
better place.

See, it has been there for years. I see that so clearly now, but I
had to get over the word death to see it.
Although she doesn't have a body hiding her true soul, she is
still here, walking the earth, a guardian angel of sorts.
She still sees her grandson's basketball games.
She still sees to it that her life partner is happy.
She still gives her daughter the courage she desperately needs
when it's required to push all fears aside.
Death        
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All you have to do is slow down enough to notice the signs. See, it isn't death. It really is freedom.

I am not afraid of whatever is next. I am just afraid of any pain that may accompany the transition. Then I
remember… hey, I made it through giving birth. The transformation can't be much more painful, and when I am
there… what a feeling that will be.

My mom tells me, "Don't grieve, don't suffer, I am still here for you and always will be. We will be together, once
again, in a better place. This place is beautiful, holds no pain, and has no wrong doing.
"Savor your worldly loved ones; cherish your time left on earth. For, I will be here waiting, a red carpet unfurl."

Cindy Callinsky
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