12/4/2007 4:09:27 AM

Right now I feel old, refreshed, happy, and scared.

So, I went on a first date Sunday night. It was really something. I
mean, I still can’t stop smilin’. Although we were both nervous I
laughed as I haven’t laughed in years.

For that past, I don’t know, few days… we’ve been kinda doing this
cat and mouse thingy. Not intentionally. It was more of a fear based
cat and mouse. This was after the blurtatious unveiling of feelings
that had been building for a while. The what~ifs and oh wows have
been floating around for a while now. However, this date was our
first attempt at realism. It was a make it or break it type of thing.

Both our schedules are extremely hectic. When we spoke on the
phone the joke that I heard was, “We’ll have to open our
spreadsheets and compare schedules to find a time to go out.”
Definitely, absolutely, unequivocally deserve this...
Anyway, enough of that. I propositioned him for a date the very last minute. I figured with our schedules that’s the
only way it would ever work. In doing this I put him out on the line to dry or mold. He dried smelling like Downy.

I had so many things going through my mind.

I want to go on and on about the date. I’m not gonna though. That’s mine. What I will say is that no matter what, I
have a tremendous amount of respect for this man. He’s honest, super sweet, and tender. He has a huge heart,
is artistic, and goes with the flow.

I can’t stop laughing when I’m with him. I continually smack him and so wanna be physically close to him. He
makes me so happy. Hell, he’s chocolate without the calories.

I keep thinking, He’s too perfect. This is too perfect. He’ll break your heart. You know what? I really don’t give a
shit. I think he’s a Lloyd. Lloyd would lift his arm up as if he’s at a rock concert, and he would scream. “I wanna be
brokenhearted!”

You know what the best thing about him is? He gets me and I believe he really likes me for my personality. In this
story I’m the frog… but not for much longer. I’m moving up to fairy tale status, baby.

Hey, I gotta be a little high or I wouldn't  be buying dread head kits and eating like a bunny. I’ve heard, “You’re
glowing. You’ve gotta date,” irate finger shacking in my face, “You better not hold out!” It’s been said… “I’ve never
heard you giggle like that.” HA!!!

Now, I’m up nights, but not because I’m stressed. I drove home the other night and the lights in the tiny town
looked like a magical winter wonderland. I’ve never taken LSD but I imagine that the result would be something
very similar to a “good trip” because all of my favorable senses are working ten fold. I wish that I could pause the
rest of the world to soak in this feeling without wasting time.

One last thing! I have decided that I definitely, absolutely, unequivocally deserve this. I soooo do. It’s been a long
damn time coming.

Cindy Callinsky
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