
| Having been pretty much single for the last seven years, I was pondering why that is. I mean, I had a boyfriend (after the divorce) for a couple years. Although we were content we weren’t going anywhere. He wanted something different than what I was. That’s okay but I am who I am. I see all these people in relationships that are going nowhere and are full of drama. I just don’t get it. I mean, why do people choose to stay in these situations? Some are so bad I can’t stomach to even be around them. I feel my aura turning some awful, putrid, puke color. |

| I know that sometimes it’s because of the children. But, I have to say, I don’t get that either. I know their intentions are good but the outcome almost never is. I also think that as children get older a split is harder for them. There are many things I understand and many things I don’t. I do get that sex is sex and that there is a difference between just sex and two people who are in love. Then, maybe there’s no difference for the men, just the woman. What I don’t get is why most men have issues with being alone. Think about that for a moment. I’ve seen it in almost every male I have ever known. Is it the need to be taken care of mentally or physically? Is it the need to not spend their evenings alone? I’m not saying that woman aren’t like this because some are. They are usually the ones that have to have a different man in bed before leaving their current bed and it has nothing to do with finances. Is it really not a man/woman thingy… just an identity thingy? I mean, I love my freedom. I love to go out and not have to worry about coming home. Of course that’s when my son is at my fathers and it’s not often because I’m too damn busy being constructive (not sure how constructive this is). Heee I would like to add that I’m not out sleeping with the town of Norton. I’m out dancing at Brownie’s and being a semi responsible adult by not driving home after a bunch of Fosters. I can’t claim to be celibate though. Anyway, my point is that so far, I have only met men that are too insecure to put faith in me or they were jealous over my relationship with my male friends, son, cars, writing, whatever. Basically, they were jealous over anything that I love. I mean… isn’t there enough love to go around? Is there only so much in the world? The last time I checked it was unlimited. Besides, I have a pretty full life and I’m not willing to give up much of it. Is that a bad thing? Is it bad that I know my weaknesses and have come to accept them, at least for this moment in time? So, I’m at the age where I have to wax my lip and dye my hair (I have fuzz not a mustache). Oh, yeah, I still get pimples which is so Murphy’s Law. Anyway, shit happens. I need to lose some weight but until I have a man that makes me want to feel girlie and be his Energizer Bunny, I’m not all that frazzled about it. I should probably buy some nice clothes but I don’t see the need until I have someone I’m dying to impress. I’m simply and plainly me. Don’t get me wrong. I clean up real nice. When I want to, I can make damn near any grown men stutter with just a handful of words. All I have to do is turn on the charm. I guess I have decided that I wasn’t put on this earth to be eye candy. For that someone special? Absolutely. For the populous? I just don’t think so. Is that bad? Doctor Phil would say it is. He would say, “Men are very visual creatures. It’s not right or wrong, it just is.” He would silently be saying that I am, “Doing… whatever to my nose despite my face.” Will, phooey. I guess I’ll stay single, un-dramatic and happy as I do what I damn-will- please. HA! ~Cindy Callinsky |

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