West Norton--The Moogie '08 campaign released a statement on Thursday
strongly denouncing the current president's stance on terrierism.
Spokescanine Ming Li said "The current administration has paid little to no
attention to the plight of terriers in this county. They are routinely referred to
as "yip-yip dogs" and "rat hounds." This is unacceptable in a free and tolerant
society."
Li read a long list of accomplishments associated with the terrier group,
including the inherent ability to turn corners quickly and remember where they
had hidden treats, even if the hiding took place weeks prior. There is much
speculation that the scandals involving Church Street Westie Fiona have led
to a widespread distrust of terriers in general. Li admitted that Fiona actually
spends a lot of time at Moogie headquarters and apparently lives with VP
candidate Basil Basset. "Totally appropriate, no relations other than water
bowl talk and an occasional community nap." A third member of the Basil
household, Violet, could not be reached for comment.
Li continued to attack the current president, saying "Although you may have
heard the president refer to terrierism in the past, we believe that it was just
another mispronunciation of 'terrorism' and totally unrelated to this issue. In
fact, we doubt the president could intentionally pronounce terrierism if you
spotted him the first three syllables."
The Moogie campaign promised more details were to follow.
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